Why are you sorry?

Too often I have heard the phrase "I am so sorry" after people hear the rare syndrome my daughter was born with. CHILD syndrome is a very rare disease that only 60 people have been diagnosed with worldwide. My daughter would be number 61. The right side of her body is underdeveloped and she has several internal and external abnormalities. Yet to me, she is just my daughter. I see past what medicine says. I see a human, a human of mine. 

"Why are you sorry"? A phrase I've been wanting to respond with to those who apologize. Don't apologize. Her disabilities aren't something to be sorry about, be ashamed of or treated as difficulties. As a matter of fact, it's quite the opposite. I want you to be happy for me and treat her as what she has brought to me: honor and happiness. You see, we live in a selfish world where if things aren't "normal" then they are a form of sadness. But if you see what I see, you will know that no sadness accompanies any of her underdeveloped self. 

When I hear you say sorry, you're implying that I have a problem at hand. Only if you knew that unlike any problem, she is the solution to my problems and yours. She reminds us the simplicity of life, cures us of our many illnesses and forces us to be selfless. 

So the next time I meet a mother whose child is one of special needs, I won't be sorry for her. Instead, I will congratulate her and remind her of the blessing she has. What an honor to raise such a unique child. 

Don't be sorry for me. Be happy for me. 

[written on Novermber 4, 2015]