The answer to our supplications

Sometimes our Duas are answered in different ways than we expect. I took Visionaire(a class about supplication and dream Duas) because I was 4 months pregnant with a baby girl who doctors had identified with several internal and external underdevelopments, and future disabilities. When I found out, I immediately questioned God "why me?" complaining I could not handle such a task. I took the class so I can come up with a Dua that Allah would answer before she was born. I tried following the steps the instructor gave us and asked: "Ya Allah, grant me a completely healthy baby girl and take away all the issues doctors are seeing, and let this girl be the reason I thank You every single day as she grows up". To me, thanking Allah daily meant that she would be perfect with no issues. As weeks passed and we did more ultrasounds, we found out more unexpected abnormalities in her. I realized pretty soon that Allah was not answering my Dua the way I wanted. Friends and family advised me to stay positive and remember that we don't always see things the way they are, as Prophet Musa didn't see the reasons behind Alkhidir doing what he did in Surah Alkahf. Thus, weeks before my due date, I stopped making the Dua I came up with. Instead, I made Dua that Allah make me content with whatever He gives me. That is all. 

Today, my daughter is 2 months old and has all the issues doctors said she would have. She has appointments at different specialists every week to follow up with her health. Despite that, I have realized that my Dua WAS answered. She has taught me countless lessons already, and confirmed to me that Allah never gives us more than we can handle. And believe it or not, she absolutely is the reason I thank Allah every day. She is nothing less than a blessing the way she is. She reminds me of the simplicity of life and forces me to remember why we were created. And today, rather than complaining "why me?", I ask Allah why did He choose me for such an honorable task of taking care of a special needs child? Subhanallah something I couldn't grasp months ago is now my actual healing. I tell you this because sometimes we don't realize right away why certain things come our way. But if we trust that Allah is the most wise, then rest assured there is a reason for everything. Sometimes our hardships can be the cure we have always needed. Alhamdulillah for everything. 

[written on December 4, 2015]